I will never have the courage to cut my hair short.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
As depressing as it is, you took the only thing that keeps me sane. That's the only reason why I agreed to be part of this madness. Now, I'm officially a zombie, still breathing but without any soul. Suicidal thoughts are overwhelming right now. If I die young, bury me in satin and lay me down in a bed of roses.
Putting up a strong front has always been my forte since young. Smiling to cover up the misery. I'm so depressed it's suffocating me.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Yesterday was the official last day of school for me as I am going for internship next semester. Finally,I do not have to go to RP to solve another problem of the day. As I was uploading all the photos, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I am not the kind to have a circle of friends. Hence every single friendship I had, I cherished it. From year 1 to year 3, I've made friends with a couple of awesome mates. Those were the ones that gave me sweet memories in RP. I am gonna miss all of you.
My bestest of friends since Year 1. Bahar Duffi and Jerbel. These two are the ones that always make fun of me every single time. The were more like sisters to me than friends. Bahar will be studying in London after she graduates which seriously breaks my heart to know that she'll be far away for a long time. Among all my good friends, she is the only one who knows me inside out. I can never hide my emotions from her. We were always seen together in school but ever since year 2, we only meet up occasionally because I'm in freaking CCC and it's always work work work for us. She has always been my PR. Forever and always introducing me to her friends. Oh how I miss people coming up to us saying, "everytime I want to find Irish, I just search for Bahar and she'll be there with her." I miss you Duffi.
During Year 2, I met these two awesome people, Shadrina and Rose. We were lunch buddies in semester 1 and became close friends ever since. I like being with them because they are the nicest people on earth. We always have lunch together, go school talks together, we go to our IG together,we go to school and home together and most importantly, we helped each other do well in school. I'm gonna miss Shadrina telling me all the things I have to sign up for, all the events that we should cover and her knowledge that always put me in awe. Rose, on the other hand is the nicest among us. She's the one I can tell emotional stuffs to. Both of them never judged me eventhough I am not as brilliant as them. They are always there to enlighten me and to help me in terms of my education. I must say, they have been a positive influence to me. I owe my completion of Ce points and GPA to them. I love you guys! Please don't forget me. Gonna miss covering events and writing articles with you guys.
The lady above is Saratini. We used to be very close and she was the best gossip partner I ever had in CCC. I swear we can go on and on bitching about stuffs. We used to think that we were Blair and Serena from Gossip Girls. Hehe. How I miss you S. We are not that close anymore but you were one of the people in CCC that I can click with and I had a great time being your bitching partner. I wish you all the best in life. " Keep Fighting!" was her favourite liner. :)
So in the picture above is Eliza. Never knew we'll be this close. Before I knew her, I kinda hate her because she has this arrogant face. I ever tried smiling at her in the lift but bitch didn't smile back. Hehe. It is only in my Year 3 that I get to be her classmate and know her better. Apparently, this woman is known as Eliza the grumpy. Nevertheless, knowing her was great because we apparently share the same sentiments on certain issues such as hugs and people. Both of us hate to be hugged and we dislike alot of people. She's one of the few in CCC that does not do hugs just like me. Isn't that awesome? :)
Oh not forgetting John Ivan. He's my dearest kaibigan that I have in CCC for like, forever. He's somehow like Bahar but a guy version? This year, there were lots of unhappy circumstances that happened and we were not as close as before. But never will I forget him. He's the one I trust when it comes to my education. I realized that everytime I want to make a major decision, I will have to consult him. His opinions matters to me and I just think he's super duper smart. Like Rebecca, we have been in similar classes for quite a few semester. I'll miss asking him to accompany me to buy snacks at Booklink, meeting up with him in the library to have revision cos I always fail and I'll miss getting all unhappy about his short haircuts. I hope we will be friends forever cos I really will miss hearing your conversations with your dad on the phone,"Hello PoK." Hehe.
My awesome classmates for many semesters, Cyrus and Pradeep.
Stephanie was on of the closest person I clicked with in class apart from Eliza and Rebecca. We shared so much with each other, I swear from boys to the school politics. She used to work with me at Udders Westmall outlet. I miss that. Like me, love fails us. I can so relate to this girl. I'll miss you STEPH!
My bestest of friends since Year 1. Bahar Duffi and Jerbel. These two are the ones that always make fun of me every single time. The were more like sisters to me than friends. Bahar will be studying in London after she graduates which seriously breaks my heart to know that she'll be far away for a long time. Among all my good friends, she is the only one who knows me inside out. I can never hide my emotions from her. We were always seen together in school but ever since year 2, we only meet up occasionally because I'm in freaking CCC and it's always work work work for us. She has always been my PR. Forever and always introducing me to her friends. Oh how I miss people coming up to us saying, "everytime I want to find Irish, I just search for Bahar and she'll be there with her." I miss you Duffi.
During Year 2, I met these two awesome people, Shadrina and Rose. We were lunch buddies in semester 1 and became close friends ever since. I like being with them because they are the nicest people on earth. We always have lunch together, go school talks together, we go to our IG together,we go to school and home together and most importantly, we helped each other do well in school. I'm gonna miss Shadrina telling me all the things I have to sign up for, all the events that we should cover and her knowledge that always put me in awe. Rose, on the other hand is the nicest among us. She's the one I can tell emotional stuffs to. Both of them never judged me eventhough I am not as brilliant as them. They are always there to enlighten me and to help me in terms of my education. I must say, they have been a positive influence to me. I owe my completion of Ce points and GPA to them. I love you guys! Please don't forget me. Gonna miss covering events and writing articles with you guys.
The lady above is Saratini. We used to be very close and she was the best gossip partner I ever had in CCC. I swear we can go on and on bitching about stuffs. We used to think that we were Blair and Serena from Gossip Girls. Hehe. How I miss you S. We are not that close anymore but you were one of the people in CCC that I can click with and I had a great time being your bitching partner. I wish you all the best in life. " Keep Fighting!" was her favourite liner. :)
So in the picture above is Eliza. Never knew we'll be this close. Before I knew her, I kinda hate her because she has this arrogant face. I ever tried smiling at her in the lift but bitch didn't smile back. Hehe. It is only in my Year 3 that I get to be her classmate and know her better. Apparently, this woman is known as Eliza the grumpy. Nevertheless, knowing her was great because we apparently share the same sentiments on certain issues such as hugs and people. Both of us hate to be hugged and we dislike alot of people. She's one of the few in CCC that does not do hugs just like me. Isn't that awesome? :)In the picture below is Rebecca. We've been in the same class for more than 3 semesters but sadly, it is only this semester that we got close. Despite our differing exterior personality, her being an extrovert and me an introvert, we are the same. Get it? We were both shocked to have realized the similarities we shared in terms of our lives. This made our friendship cooler than it ever were because we totally get each other. Sharing secrets about each other's lives, bitching about people we dislike and working together in the same team together were the things I looked forward to when I enter class each day. Rebecca and Eliza are the closest classmates I have this semester. You guys made coming to school enjoyable, I swear. Here's to eccentric mates! :)
Oh not forgetting John Ivan. He's my dearest kaibigan that I have in CCC for like, forever. He's somehow like Bahar but a guy version? This year, there were lots of unhappy circumstances that happened and we were not as close as before. But never will I forget him. He's the one I trust when it comes to my education. I realized that everytime I want to make a major decision, I will have to consult him. His opinions matters to me and I just think he's super duper smart. Like Rebecca, we have been in similar classes for quite a few semester. I'll miss asking him to accompany me to buy snacks at Booklink, meeting up with him in the library to have revision cos I always fail and I'll miss getting all unhappy about his short haircuts. I hope we will be friends forever cos I really will miss hearing your conversations with your dad on the phone,"Hello PoK." Hehe. 
My awesome classmates in Year 3. Stephanie, Danial and Kenneth.
My awesome classmates for many semesters, Cyrus and Pradeep.
Stephanie was on of the closest person I clicked with in class apart from Eliza and Rebecca. We shared so much with each other, I swear from boys to the school politics. She used to work with me at Udders Westmall outlet. I miss that. Like me, love fails us. I can so relate to this girl. I'll miss you STEPH!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression. Dr. Sterling was right about that. I loved it because I thought it was all I had. I thought depression was the part of my character that made me worthwhile. I thought so little of myself, felt that I had such scant offerings to give to the world, that the one thing that justified my existence at all was my agony." -Elizabeth WurtzelIt sucks not to be able to blog how I actually feel here. Everything is private, everything has changed.
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