Yesterday L replied a few words but all of it were hurtful. I cursed him to be dead. & I don't really want that to happen. I'm so sorry. I said that out of anger. I know you had fun ever since you left. You talk to your dearest "Friend(J***E)" with love on FB as compared to the msges you replied me. I'm SURE the chalet was fun. He just loves it when girls gave him the attention or disturb-disturb him & anything with alcohol involved. People can move on & lead a single life but still have feelings for the person they loved right? I asked him that & L said there's no longer any. It's time to move on & not ponder about it. How can someone change overnight? Why is he like this? I don't know why but I think he's just acting so that I will eventually hate him. He's trying to act the jerk so I'll move on get another guy & be happy. I won't move on ever. I just don't want to. If any guy says he likes me from now on, I'll just punch his face. Because it's all lies & being me(jinxed), I'll be dumped sooner or later. So no more guys for me. I will just stay the way I am & love the only person that matters to me which forever will be L. I thought about alot of things yesterday & didnt sleep well. L loved the fried rice I sometimes cooked for him. So on every 1st of Sept of every year, I will cook the fried rice & it eat myself. I know it's kind of pathetic but when you have to celebrate it yourself, you'll make do with what reminds you of the person you love & it will be a happiest thing to do. I've tried my best to ask him to be with me again for many many times. He established the fact that I'm nothing from the start. He seems happy with a pool of girl friends, work, mahjong, alcohol & hurling hurtful things to me. I shall let him be happy for one unhappy person is enough. After this post, I shall not mention about L for as long as I can. I will lead the life I've plan for myself- a life full of Leonard in it. & to whom he might end up with one day, you should know that you are lucky & you must never do anything to hurt him. I wish you hapiness L. But one thing I'll ask from you, please do still click on my nuffnang ads ok? Thank you.