Had to help out with the cleaning & decor today. Every year my task will be just to polish all the swords, samurai & brass antiques. Guess why? -.- It's because I am a perfectionist. I will not stop polishing it till it shines & I can look at it like a mirror. On Wednesday we gonna start assembling the carpets & all. Thursday night, help my mum to cook. I can't rely on our stupid maid during this festive season cos she practically didn't listen to whatever we say to her. I swear to god the house is much cleaner when me & my sis were doing all the chores back then.

Anyways my ankles are starting to hurt again. I bought a wedge heel. It's not that high but I really hope my ankles won't swell. I will bring my medication everywhere I go just in case. If it gets swollen, I'll be doom because I'm all alone now. He's not there to help or be there anymore. I just really feel so lost & alone.

When school reopens, I will wake up exceptionally early to go to school. I'll take 187 to interchange & cab to RP after that everyday. But I'm worried about the going home part. I have this bad phobia of alighting a bus especially if my stop is not the last stop. Before, he will be there to help me hold my laptop, press the doorbell (which I have phobia of too) & will lead the way to the door. All I have to do is follow right behind him & I will definitely alight at my bustop because we'll alight at the same bustop. He promised to not let me go home alone ever since that day when I couldn't bring myself to stand up & alight because I was alone. I was really scared. This is a true phobia I am facing with. I am not making this up or what people. What am I going to do without you when I go home for another 1 and a half year of poly life in RP?

Even if I go home with Bahar or Shadrina, I may not get to alight at my own stop. That's because Bahar will alight 3 stops after while Shadrina 2 stops before.I still have to stand on my when my stop arrives. That's the most difficult part for me. Even if I want to stand, my body just wouldn't react. & usually if I'm with Bahar, I will alight at her stop & then take 188 to another stop near my house. But I can't so it anymore because the stops after mine will be flooded with ITE people from ITE Chua Chu Kang ! haix.

How?

Maybe I should put the biggest percentage on transportation in future. I foresee cab-bing all the time. I'm so doomed :'(